Gordonia Flowers

At Angel Service yesterday I noticed that my favourite flower, the Gordonia had flowered. These trees are located at the bottom of the hill on the same street as the New Church in Roseville.

Gordonia trees have pretty flowers with large white petals around and egg yoke like centre - hence some call the egg or fried egg flowers.

Lachlan a friend of our found a plant for us last year and it's now taking pride of place at the front of our townhouse; although as yet no signs of flowering.

Macau & Coloane in May

Around four more weeks before we head off to Macau and Hong Kong. I'm too excited. Each week, I look over the pics and vids from our last hols there in Jan 2008 and they only get me more excited.

I think this time we must get to the big Kwan Ying in Coloane, we got lost last time, but discovered a cute temple by the sea as well as a frenzily busy portuguese tart cafe.

The video here is of Walter wandering about the gorgeously sleepy Coloane during a weekday.

The Competition is over

As far back as I remember, the pressure to “succeed” was on. In Vietnam our family, while not rich, was relatively well off. While my parents never said as much, it was clear to me that they wanted me to get a good education and rise to the top. They never said as much, but even as a child, I knew with clarity they both desperately wanted me to study hard and have a good career. It was a dream shared by every family around us. That dream was going smoothly; I was doing reasonably well at school; my parents had saved enough for my education right through to medical or law school if I was good enough.

The end of the Vietnam War, in April, 34 years ago changed all that.

We found ourselves in a new country, with literally just the clothes on our backs – our only source of money was the jewellery which Mum could quickly grab in the last few, maddening hours. These, our only assets, we had to sell quickly for a fraction of their worth to make ends meet in a new country.

I saw my proud parents, well off, well respected in their country adjusting to being two refugees in a land where people couldn’t even say their name, let alone spell it. I believed my parents effectively had no future, their only hope was for me to succeed in this new land, for my sake and instinctively so I could provide for them as they grow rapidly older. Now, I feel the pressure more intensely and even more unspoken – to put words to it would be to admit the futility of my parent’s new life.

I never saw it as pressure, it sounds like the stereotype of an Asian boy wanting to please his parents. But I really did want to succeed and make them proud.

The sense of competition was there in Vietnam, where I was literally competing with millions of intelligent students, and the not so intelligent but who had the money to get a good education. It continues in Australia where I had to compete with a handicap, with no English to begin with and with a new culture to adapt to. I was not the most intelligent child so I had to make up with application.

My friends, my work colleagues and especially those who play tennis with me can testify to that competitive streak, which is still alive and well today. But these days, I’m pacing myself a lot better. While I’m not rich, I have more than I need, and my parents are also very comfortable.

Two major things have come into my life to bring a better perspective. Firstly, I realise now, my parent’s love were unconditional - they would love me just as much if I dropped out of school and had no job. I should have known this because I didn’t study medicine or law like they wanted me to and they were still happy. I didn’t grow up, marry and have children like they expected and they are still there for me. I think all along they were actually saying, whatever makes you happy makes us happy. Theirs was unconditional love.

Secondly, it’s my partner, Walter. April also marks our 19th anniversary. While most of my life has been a personal race, slowly over the years he’s shown me, again without words, life and happiness is much more than that.

Also this April, Walter graduates from his honours degree and will be awarded the University Medal for outstanding achievement. Next year, he will have a book published by one of Australia’s leading publishers, he’s writing the manuscript in the other room even as I’m writing this blog.

Without knowing it, I have been applying the same subtle pressure on him that my parents had applied on me. And I know first hand that pressure is not selfish because all I want is for him to succeed and be happy. I think (finally) I’ve learned what love is and am able to offer it to someone else.

For me the race has been worth it, but at last I can slow down, knowing I have been loved and blessed all my life and more importantly, knowing that I can give love to others in return.

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From Thang Talk, Fairfield Advance

WALTER'S GRADUATION

Walter's graduation from UWS (University of Western Sydney) was such a proud momment. Was so happy for him to finally get a degree, and to top it off graduating with first class honours and being awarded the university medal.

I took heaps of pics and also recorded the moment he received his medal and degree.

Look Up

Walking through the Hyde park this morning and looked up.

It was a beautiful sight of the downing centre, a place I've walked past a thousand times, but never looked up to see its beauty.
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RIP BANANA

Woke up this morning to sad news, my pride and joy banana plant couldn't support the huge banana hands it was carrying and broke.

We had to cut it down. Seems silly but it made me sad. We've had the plant for over a year I think and it started flowering in December last year, much to my joy.

So it was sad to wake up and find the trunk broken and most of the plant resting on our clothes line. It must have slowly broken off last night, so slowly and painfully and we didn't hear it. You can't help but think if we did anything wrong, or now we could have save it earlier.

I think we've got to learn to keep the plants (we have two or three new stalks) shorter so it is less pressure on the trunk. And I've got to learn not to be greedy, the bananas were meant to be sugar bananas but they grew to be really big with at least 8-10 hands that I could count - probably spurned on by me tipping food scraps and anything that might have some nutritional value around the plant.

Also learned not to be selfish, I reckon I wouldn't have been upset at all if the bananas rippened - I would have probably cut off the plant after that and be perfectly happy. Was my sadness not for the plant, but because I couldn't get to taste our first home grown bananas. Or was it just general failure when it comes to the garden?

RIP my first banana plant.

MONDAY MEDITATION

Just came back from the monday night meditation that Walter runs each month in North Ryde. This week the theme was Zen meditation. We've been going to monday meditation for a year or so now, but this week was the most different.

Because it was raining we meditated at the window looking at the rain, street light and looking at the rain drops run down the window.

We also followed Bodhidhama's (the Indian Buddhist monk who introduced Zen Buddhism to China in the 5th or 6th Century - pictured) steps by meditating against a blank wall. I thought it would be impossible and I would get restless, but to my surprise it was amazingly easy.

Monday meditation is always so wonderful. The group left feeling so grounded and centred. I didn't want to leave at all tonight. When I left I felt both calm, rested and invigorated.

MACAU/HK IN MAY & JUNE

I'm too excited for words. We're off on a two week hols end of May visiting Macau and then Hong Kong - one of my current favourite places to visit.

We were lucky enough to get a cheap return flight to Macau with Viva Macau airlines, for around $470 including taxes - how could we say no. Friends who have been on the airline says it's pretty much a no frills package, but hey what do you expect for that price.

We love Macau, because it's so sleepy and relatively undiscovered. There's a lot to see and do that doesn't involve the gaudy casinos, although I was very tempted to book us into the Venetian hotel and casino (pictured)!

There are some great deals currently in Hong Kong for accommodation too, just under AU$100/night for two people at the four star Eaton Hotel, right on Nathan Road was just too good to pass over. Already booked in! I could have easily got a five star place for around $180/night... ridiculously cheap! Or even the Langham Place for around AU$200!

Macau is a different story though, they are so expensive! Even 3 star hotels are around AU$150 a night. Still haven't sorted out accommodation as yet, but fingers crossed, I want to be near the ruins of St Pauls, not for the ruins themselves, but love that whole area which as some of the best foods around... egg noodle place next to Starbucks is to die for and a couple of local portuguese/chinese type cafes are great too.

Songkran 2009, Wat Pa Buddharangsee part 2

Another favourite is the band that weaves around the crowd entertaining and infecting everyone with their joy. The band is made up of men playing various Thai instruments, but the loudest is always the drum.

They are accompanied by a group of women in colourful clothing and decorated with flowers, who dance and collect money from the audience. The money is donated to the temple.

The dancer that caught my eye is a middle aged woman in a plain purple blouse - who would have thought that wearing plain you would stand out. She did for two reasons, plain purple stands out in a blur of busy colours the other women were wearing and more importantly she really did enjoy the dancing... some might say she enjoyed it a little too much, but heck, it's new year!

Songkran 2009, Wat Pa Buddharangsee

We went to Wat Pa Buddharangsee in Lumeah for our annual Thai-Burmese-Malaysian eat fest to celebrate Thai New Year. It's become an institution and our group just keeps on growing. This year we're joined by Dan's sister, his Mum and her husband. New this year is Ivy, Daniel and Chantel's gorgeous baby.

Everyone brings as mat and sits around the temple, makes offering to the monk and basically eat all day.

My favourite is always the Som Tum woman that mixes the paw paw salad as you order and you can ask her to make it hot, medium or mild, sweet or sour, all to your taste. She uses proper paw paw and doesn't try to skimp by putting in too much carrot. This year was a killer, I asked for mild but it was still so hot.

Another favourite was roti bread, eaten as savoury first, with chicken curry, then as sweet, smothered in condensed milk and with a sprinkle of sugar on top for good measure. I think this was my favourite this year.

A new innovation we discovered this year was grilled egg. Yes, four eggs in somehow skewed and then grilled. I've got no idea how they did it. We had to try it. As you can see by the video, it's quite tasty.